#THISWEEK // Our Top Ten Stories—20 October 2017

I met someone this week who told me they have guilty pleasures in music. Guilty pleasures make no sense to me. I know you can turn Spotify and Last.fm to private, so no one sees you rocking out to Bananarama. Pfft. Bananarama was Stock, Aitken, and Waterman at their dance-floor thumping best. I don’t give a fuck if I yearn for Whitney Houston to Dance With Somebody and the whole street knows. Why should I feel guilty for something I enjoy? What kind of pretentious school-yard bullshit is that? Yes, if you like Nickelback, you are a husk of a person. But if you like it, who am I to tell you no? For some reason Fleetwood Mac was old man music, five or so years ago. Now they’re at staples at every white-tile and fake plant cafe with unpronounceable eggs, avocado, and bullshit on the menu. I am old, and I don’t care any more. Anyway, here’s our top ten:

1. We Came As Romans: Heavy Metal Caligula Returns

The near-break-up, and make-up, of We Came As Romans

2. Ecca Vandal, Ecca Perfection

This is the shape in which punk was supposed to come

3. Heavy Metal Was An Accident

But we still love it like it was an on purpose accident

4. We Are The Nightbringers – Hard Noise Style

Trevor Strnad! The Black Dahlia Murder! Aaron Osbourne! Metal! Whoo!

5. We Do Not Insinuate Kublai Khan are Kleptos

But there is a reference to “stealing wallets” in the interview

6. Pianocore is Totally A Thing, and It’s Spectacular

Misstiq covers Threads by Make Them Suffer and doesn’t afraid of anything

7. Happy Death Day Is Horror With a Smile

A killing smile!!!!

8. The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Last Stand

Much like the actual John Dillinger, their plan wasn’t so great. Music was tops but

9. Ten Years of Rise Or Die Trying

Four Year Strong + Six = ???

10. Colour & Shade Premiere…Themselves

It’s actually a track called Composure, but welcome to THE HOUSE OF PAIN (aka the music industry)