#SW15 DREAM SETLIST // Dragonforce

You can’t go any FASTER? Dragonforce doesn’t know what that means. Since 2003, they’ve shattered fret-speed records with every OTT song, licked with a unique flavour of “extreme power metal.” It tastes like charred dragons’ dung and STEEL FROM THE FOREST OF METAL AND OTHER DENSE MINERALS. On Soundwave 2015, we’re totally DTDF. So we made this DREAM SETLIST. Did your ode to metallic metal make the list?

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The Valley of the Damned – Back to where it all began. Swirling mists, swinging swords, windmills everlasting. Will they floor us just like back in high school, pimply faced and friendless? Maybe we’re wiser. Maybe we’re impossible to please, now. Maybe little parts of us long for those days where every spin was an act of rebellion. Nope, just feel like a nerd. Powerful, graceful and in need of a shower. Starting to feel less stupid now. My true mega POWER burns through geekiness like sun does winter frost. Yeah! Bring this shit on!

My Spirit Will Go On – I remember watching Transformers: The Movie not long ago – not the Michael Bay cinematic abortions, but the LEONARD NIMOY, ORSON WELLES AND JUDD FUCKING NELSON voiced animated feature from 1986. In the first 20 minutes, shit gets real. (SPOILER ALERT) Explosion after explosion rattles Cybertron. Optimus Prime dies. My jaw swung wide open. Turning to my equally flabbergasted friend, I feebly asked “Does it go up from there?” It did. Dragonforce went “up” from Valley of the Damned in a flamboyantly magnificent glory only DF can pull off.

Cry Thunder – Give Marc a break, yeah. What the fuck WAS ZP’s range, fuckin’ Top C? He was no contralto, you god damn piece of shit! Anyway, what’s great about ol’ DF is they’re the only niche power metal band that’ve gone prime time – i.e., more than seven crusty Europeans know about them. So they’ll get accused of stealing from Thin Lizzy instead of other, lesser known bands that TRULY steal from Thin Lizzy and never cop shit for it. Hey, I want to be kissed; I’m pretending I’m Irish.

Through the Fire and Flames – Oh, Guitar Hero was a big fucking deal, once. Click, c-c-c-cl-click, click, click, click FUCK! You remember. This was the song that started it all. Watch Sam and Herman cross streams in the most homoerotic musical theatre since Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. They’re kissing fresh air. In their minds, they’re one.

Starfire – When do you hear brooks babbling underneath sprinkled piano any more? Never. Fucking never. Everyone’ll sing this tender-hearted ode to the “lives of great men who stand by our side,” and “never giving in until we find the words to say.” I ain’t saying, I’m just saying.

Black Winter Night –  It’s funny cos it’ll probably be a Blue Summer Day. LOL! But seriously, this song is badass, just like It’s Always Sunny’s Mac’s delusions of baddassery. Hey, guess what…

Disciples of Babylon – This is the one where they dress up in chainmail and pretend they’re doing the most badass Live Action Role Play in the seven kingdoms. “Can you imagine that it’s all up to you?” ZP cryptically began back in the day.. Yes, yes I fucking can. Hand me that Wii controller Leroy Jenkins, I’m going the FUCK in.

The Fire Still Burns – TOTAL DRAMA BOMB. Boom. Now I’m pretending I’m quoting Shakespeare. It’s pretty much a repackage of Disciples of Babylon. Why not hear it again with added DRAMA? It’s like walking into the Red Wedding on Z’ha’dum as the Jem’Hadar invade. If you got all those references, shame on you.

Ring of Fire – The tragedy of this? Dragonforce make all other power metal band covers sane by comparison.

Heart of a Dragon – By now and If you look closely, Sam and Herman’s tendons are glowing red. Marc Hudson’s throat too. But fuck it, you have to bow out with this. I’ll never know what riding a dragon into glorious battle feels like. Listening to Dragonforce, I’m closer than most.

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Did your favourite make it to the list? Don’t agree with the picks? What’s your dream Dragonforce setlist? Comment on Facebook or hit us up on Twitter!