ARCHITECTS // Riding in Cars With Boy(rrito)s

Architects keyboard/guitar man Tom Searle calls from a cab in Houston, cradling a burrito in one hand and me via telephone in the other. “I can’t eat this – there’s no hot sauce on it. Why is there no hot sauce in Texas?”

ARCHITECTS have been zipping across timelines for most of this year. With tickets for their Australian headline tour in 2015 on sale today, we talk international policy and riding in cars with boys. Tom Searle: Loves Australia (duh), enjoys drinking and still hates Tony Abbott.

The Amity Affliction tour involved booze, touring with your best mates and crying on stage. So, pretty standard then.

“It was a really emotional tour for those guys. We had toured with them a few times but that one was on another level. We had never done a tour that big anywhere else. Not only was it cool to get to hang out with our friends but to even be invited.”

You’ve been to Australia so many times that they basically stick a koala on your hip as soon as you clear customs. It’s like, ‘welcome back, have a free marsupial on your 10th entry!’

“That’s should happen. If they don’t, I’ll feel shortchanged.”

What would they give you in the UK?

“A dole packet. Our unemployment is just as terrible as anywhere else, though. I don’t really know what Britain stands for, other than binge drinking and… that’s it.”

Well we have that in common.

“The Aussies love their binge drinking. But at least you guys have some restraint. Kind of. I feel like a 50 year old, even though I’m only 27. Your bottle shops are open later, and that suits me. I buy booze all the time.”

You’ve driven around Australia, not just flown, right? The drives are the worst. There’s literally nothing between the cities. I drove from Sydney to Melbourne and there’s four weird KFC roadhouses and nothing but farms. Just four chicken houses in the middle of nowhere.

“When we first went in 2009 I was younger and I was all excited so I didn’t care about the long drive. But if I went back to driving now, I’d whine like a bitch.”

At least in America or Europe, there’s shit to look at.

“Sometimes! Fortunately, we’re in band/wagon thing so I just sleep the whole time we drive anywhere. There is nothing I am more sick to death of than driving around America in a fucking van.”

You’re ballers now, in your fancy tour bus. So not quite a private jet, but you’re not slumming it either.

“Well it’s kind of a bus. It’s a beginner’s bus, a truck thing. But we have bunks, so that helps. It’s fantastic.”

–

“The first show we ever played was at Riverstage. That’s obviously just crazy stupid and a really fond memory. It’s like a fantasy, to get to do that sort of thing. None of us could believe it.”

[Tom]

–

Without making this sound like a tourism ad for Australia, what are some of your favourite memories of touring here?

“The first time travelling anywhere is always either really special or really bad. The first time we toured America I hated it and the first time I toured Australia I loved it. Obviously, going out with Parkway Drive as your first tour was huge. I bet there were a lot of Australian bands looking at us and going ‘those fucking spoilt cunts.’ We got really lucky with that. The first show we ever played was at Riverstage. That’s obviously just crazy stupid and a really fond memory. It’s like a fantasy, to get to do that sort of thing. None of us could believe it.”

And what haven’t you done that’s specific to here? Have you been to the Great Barrier Reef? Have you gotten wasted in St Kilda and laughed at all the tourists?

“I got scared of the beach, when we were there for Soundwave. I got sunstroke. That wasn’t pretty. I have never been to the Great Barrier Reef and I’d love to go before Tony Abbott destroys the whole thing.”

He’s pretty much out there with shovel right now, digging it up.

“He’s a fucking cunt, isn’t he. He’s the most compelling evidence for a reptilian overlord. He can’t be human.”

Some of the shit that comes out of his mouth in a public forum is so antiquated that I can’t believe he hasn’t been muzzled.

“Just the worst public speaker. We’ve got a twat running our country as well.”

So who’s doing a good job?

“I heard that the president of Uruguay earns a tiny salary and legalised weed and uses his common sense. You could almost look at whichever country that’s recognised the state of Palestine. They’re pretty good. They’re not being held at gunpoint by America and the rest of them.”

Meanwhile Ukraine is imploding and Putin still has a smug look on his face.

“Oh yeah. It’s a mess everywhere.” (Laughs)

—

ARCHITECTS

2015 AUSTRALIAN TOUR

w/ special guests

STICK TO YOUR GUNS (USA)

BEING AS AN OCEAN (USA)

STORIES

THU APR 9 – Capitol, Perth 18+ – http://bit.ly/1xVUcue

FRI APR 10 – HQ, Adelaide LIC/AA – http://bit.ly/1v7shUD

SAT APR 11 – Arrows, Melbourne AA – http://bit.ly/1AKIEer

SUN APR 12 – 170 Russell, Melbourne 18+ – http://bit.ly/1Fm2SJf

WED APR 15 – ANU Bar, Canberra 18+ – http://bit.ly/11RPJug

THU APR 16 – Roundhouse, Sydney LIC/AA – http://bit.ly/11RPJug

FRI APR 17 – Cambridge , Newcastle 18+ – http://bit.ly/1vHFeXT

SAT APR 18 – The Hifi, Brisbane 18+ – http://bit.ly/1vHFKFt