As Flaming Wrekage’s brutal fourth album tickles your earholes, you know this is something special. …
Christmas is a time of giving and cheer, inspiring films like the yuletide schmaltz of the rom-com Love, Actually.
MORE: Warped Tour // Soled Out: A Fan’s Tribute.
Somehow, Christmas has also inspired filmmakers to make some really weird films over the years. Perhaps too much eggnog? Here’s a countdown of some of the weirdest films to come from this holiday, featuring murderous trees, Jewish superheroes, and lots of murder. Consider this the Christmas movie naughty list.
- Santa’s Slay (2005)
Featuring demonic hell-deer, an eggnog drowning, and a fatal beating with a turkey leg, the weirdest thing about Santa’s Slay is that it stars professional wrestling star Bill Goldberg in the title role. His manic performance makes it worth it.
- Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
In Finland, Santa isn’t a fat and jolly old man; he’s an evil, child murdering monster. Now freed from his icy prison by British researchers, Santa has returned to wreak his savage revenge.
- Jack Frost (1997)
The vehicle transporting serial killer Jack Frost to his execution collides with a truck carrying chemicals. Somehow, the chemicals cause Jack to transform into a snowman. The killer snowman goes out to kill, and even murders one poor soul with his carrot nose.
- Treevenge (2008)
This 15-minute short film is from the director of the great Hobo With A Shot gun. After centuries of being cruelly murdered and having their bodies decorated and displayed in humans’ homes, the Christmas Trees have had enough, seeking their bloody revenge.
- Christmas Evil (1980)
A film banned in the UK during the 80s Video Nasties panic, and legendary film director John Waters calls “the greatest Christmas film ever”. After seeing his mother having sex with Santa (his father in costume), Harry becomes traumatised. He grows up believing he is Santa, delivering presents for the good and homicide for the naughty.
- Christmas On Mars (2008)
The film tells the story of the first Christmas on a newly colonised Mars. Since this is a film made by psychedelic band The Flaming Lips, things get weird, becoming more like Eraserhead in space.
- The Hebrew Hammer (2003)
He’s the baddest Heeb this side of Tel Aviv. The Hebrew Hammer is a Jewish crime-fighter who must stop Santa’s evil son Damien (Andy Dick) from ridding the world of Hanukkah. For those who love their 70s Blaxploitation films with a side of latkes.
- Black Christmas (1974)
The very first slasher film, inspiring the horror classic Halloween. Over the holiday season, a group of sorority sisters receive threatening phone calls, only to be stalked and murdered one by one by a killer living in their attic.
- Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Easily the winner for dumbest title. Little Billy is traumatised after witnessing his parents’ murder on Christmas Eve. Billy grows up to become deranged by the holidays, where he dons a Santa suit, grabs an axe, and starts a killing spree.
- Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
The daddy of all weird Christmas films, it tells of Martians kidnapping Santa Claus after their children become addicted to Earth’s television shows. Although, you won’t notice the story behind the poorly made sets and costumes. The film is a cult classic of bad filmmaking. Also recommended is the hilarious Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode on it.
