May 06 2024, 3.43pm / Reviews
Though we aren’t inundated with review CDs any more (a what?), our inboxes are crammed …
NOFX bandleader “Fat Mike” Burkett is so fucking relieved his band is about to end.
MORE: TROPHY EYES: “I Realised My Career Was Probably Close To Over If I Didn’t Release Something” REVIEWS: POLARIS: Fatalism // THY ART IS MURDER: Godlike // C.O.F.F.I.N // Australia Stops // HYRO THE HERO: Bound For Glory
“People think I’m lying or something, but I can’t explain it,” he says.
“I would feel like I’m cheating people because I give my heart and soul to all these last shows. I get so emotional because I get to say goodbye to people who have been there for so many years and I’m not lying to them for a buck down the road.”
Blue haired and scruffy looking, guitarist and singer Mike is wearing an open black plastic shirt and matching Stetson (size seven and a half). His wafting blue is contrasted by a thick steel chain and pink padlock necklace. He’s sitting in front of a few photos and mementos he’s collected over the years. Looking relaxed and ready to stir up rock scribes for shits and giggles. Is this really goodbye? No farewell to debt tour three years down the road?
“No fucking way,” he says, adjusting his majestic hat. “I’ve always been a very sincere, honourable person. I don’t lie. I’ve never cheated. And I’m not lying about this. A few years ago I dreaded going on stage and I usually have a good time on stage because I drank a lot and took a lot of valium and did drugs. But I don’t feel like doing it anymore. But I am really enjoying this last tour because it’s very sincere. We’ve never been so good. We actually practise and it feels good to say goodbye.
NOFX is older than most people. I’m not so great at maths, but that sounds about right. Hailing from Los Angeles in 1983 when metal seemed to rule, NOFX licked their tar-stained tongues all over the US – and world – punk scene. They – they being Smelly Sandin (drums), El Hefe (lead guitar) and Eric Melvin (rhythm guitars) did it over and over for four decades. NOFX came along in punk as it crawled out of infancy and upright into shouty screamy shirtless hardcore. Pop-punk, if that’s what the kids wanted to call it, was about to spawn.
An acute sense of humour defined their career. Their album titles were always in search of a great spoonerism (Punk in Drublic) cheeky sex joke (S&M Airlines, Ribbed, Heavy Petting Zoo) or being irreverent because they’re punx (White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean, Pump Up The Valuum). Without NOFX there’d be no pioneering Fat Wreck Chords label, no smuggled in drugs at festivals, and there’d be no magazines. Did you know that Punk in Drublic was one of Guitar World’s 51 Most Essential Pop Punk Albums of All Time? Well, now you do.
In the new tradition of hugging and talking about feelings and shit, NOFX announced that the band would be breaking up ahead of time. Their January final lap of Australia (dates down below) will indeed be the last. Isn’t that kind of like bringing back your Buddy from the vet knowing he’ll be put down tomorrow?
“I needed it,” Mike says. “It feels wonderful. I know when our last show is, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, but it’s like I am so fucking thankful for all the wonderful times and all really our fans and my friends.
“I never thought about it like this. It’s like going to your funeral and you get to say goodbye to everyone and thank you so much for your friendship and all the years that we’ve hung out together and thank you. I’m moving on. Wow, that’s pretty good. I never thought of it like that, but I really can’t tell you how happy I am to have a final date. All the expectations on me and performing. You can’t have an off night when you’re performing in Australia. Man. We’ve had some rough times in Australia. I’ve been hit with fucking lots of shit in my face.”
Mike is possibly referring to the 2014 “Enmore Incident.” That being a drunk fan joined Mike for an impromptu duet of Linoleum. Mike responded by kicking him in square in the face. (They made up over Twitter.) Screeching Weasel had a go at him, which seems kind of pointless considering Ben Weasel has not differentiated himself from his namesake spirit animal. Anyway, go on, Mike:
“The aim on these people in Australia, Jesus Christ, I think it’s for the boomerang, whatever it is. Damn. But yet Australia is, I think besides it being so fucking far away, it’s probably the best place of the world. And do you know why? Because of the people. It certainly ain’t the fucking drugs or the beer.”
But I am really enjoying this last tour because it’s very sincere. We’ve never been so good. We actually practise and it feels good to say goodbye.
[ “Fat Mike” Burkett ]
That is true. The drugs are shit and the beer is overpriced. Now that NOFX is all grown up and showing itself the door, Mike says that they’ve achieved more than they’d ever thought. Which is kind of easy to say as a slacker punk rock band.
“We’ve done fucking a million times more. We got to never have a boss, never have to do anything except for play,” he says. “I got to travel with my best friends, my crew and my band. Our crew has been with us 25 years, almost 30. And we’ve been together for 40 years. Same dudes. And can you imagine just travelling the world with your best friends and doing whatever you want. And every new city you go to, everyone treats you nicely and you go to the dungeon and you get beat up real good. And looking out the window at Stonehenge and looking out the window at Statue of Liberty and Eiffel Tower. Yeah, we saw a lot of things through the bus window and all those.
“And the band. We’ve never had sex with each other.”
Sure you haven’t, Mike.
“No.” He says in all seriousness. “When we used to sleep in a van, there’d be four of us on the back bed, so we’d all have to spoon and once in a while you’d feel a little, but that was it.”
That’s probably a good thing. Don’t want to be the punk rock Fleetwood Mac.
“Well, no, because my guys through my band, everyone is so fucking cool. That never happened. And if they were to be jealous, it’d be me.”
Though NOFX is going away, the brotherhood, the fraternity of NOFX will never go away. Right, Mike?
“Brotherhood? Brotherhoods don’t gang rape sorority girls, fraternities do though.”
It’s about now that Fat Mike disappears from view and returns, shirtless. Is it suddenly hot over there? Am I making him hot under the collar? I let the mystery remain.
“I mention gang rape and you got all flustered.”
I can’t help it Mike, I’m a metalhead. I was born this way.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
Thanks, Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting.
He points his finger at the screen, smiling. “You fuckin’ nailed that one.”
Thank you. He was a great actor. Unlike me.
“I tell you what, I will never watch him in a comedy movie. Fuck you, Mrs. Doubtfire. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting. Man. Wonderful actor.”
Turning on a dime: “Ask me who my favourite dominatrix is.”
Mike, who is your favourite dominatrix?
“Miss Tokyo at the Purple Palace. In Adelaide.”
Figures. Adelaide is like Twin Peaks. It’s all nice and churchy on the surface, but peel back the charm and you’ll find demonic bucket-bong wielding insane asylum escapees dancing for wooden nickels.
“Why don’t you look up Miss Tokyo. She has a fuckin’ iron lung in her dungeon. You know those rubber bands that castrate bulls? Yeah, well, she put two of those, two each of those, on my nipples.” He looks surprised and proud in equal parts. He points to the scars, which bitcrushed Zoom streams don’t quite confirm nor deny. “They hurt for like, a month. She cut ’em off with a fuckin’ scalpel.”
He checks his phone. “Oh shit, Pat Smear is fuckin’ texting me.”
How is Pat?
“He’s still the coolest person on Earth. ”
That’s great. I don’t know him personally, I just wanted to know in general.
“You can play his guitar in my Punk Rock museum. My museum is pretty cool.
There’s a pregnant pause as Mike lifts up his Stetson to alleviate a bit of crept-in hat hair.
“Ask me about my new strings album.”
Tell me about your new strings album, Mike.
“It’s none of your business.” He smiles and giggles. Honest to god, giggles.
Fair enough.
“Yeah, I’m proud of it. I’m fuckin’ tired of selling NOFX, because NOFX is done.” He admires himself a minute in the Zoom vanity window. Front on and in profile. He slicks down his hat with a ring made of fingers.
“Man, I look fuckin’ good as a cowboy.”
Who am I to disagree, Mike?
LIVE NATION, SBM & MOTHERSHIP EVENTS PRESENTS
NOFX Final Tour:
40 Years
40 Cities
40 Songs Per Night
SAT 20 JAN – SYDNEY, HORDERN PAVILION
WOLVES’ IN WOLVES CLOTHING / PUNK IN DRUBLIC / THE WAR ON ERRORISM
SUN 21 JAN – SYDNEY, HORDERN PAVILION
WHITE TRASH, TWO HEEBS AND A BEAN / SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE SHOES / THE DECLINE
TUE 23 JAN – BRISBANE, FORTITUDE MUSIC HALL
WOLVES’ IN WOLVES CLOTHING / PUNK IN DRUBLIC / THE WAR ON ERRORISM
WED 24 JAN – BRISBANE, FORTITUDE MUSIC HALL
WHITE TRASH, TWO HEEBS AND A BEAN / SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE SHOES / THE DECLINE
FRI 26 JAN – MELBOURNE, FESTIVAL HALL
WOLVES’ IN WOLVES CLOTHING / PUNK IN DRUBLIC / THE WAR ON ERRORISM
SAT 27 JAN- MELBOURNE, FESTIVAL HALL
WHITE TRASH, TWO HEEBS AND A BEAN / SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE SHOES / THE DECLINE
Learn more at livenation.com.au / sbmpresents.com
